Why are we so afraid of uncertainty? Nothing is certain.
How can I de-focus from thinking about the illusory intricacies of the future?
What is a good balance of decision-making, action-taking and letting things be?
What would I really like to change?
If I think about my life as malleable and constantly in flux I can more easily let go of “how things ought to be”. Maybe this way I will feel less indecisive and confused by the countless possibilities of what I could do and what I should do. Thoughts tell me I should be doing this or going there, I’d feel best here, I’d feel better if I am there.” There is in fact no need to run away and there is no need to wait. The future will look different no matter what I think. I will ask questions. I won’t wait for the answers.
Do I have a moral compass which helps me navigate my environments?
Why does this particular environment make me feel like I am shrinking?
I have perceived this environment as un-stimulating. The reality is different. My mind is latching on to feelings of fear of what would happen if I in fact saw the reality of things: the vast amount of opportunities etched in every moment. How odd that I have not thought of this before: I can change in any environment instead of blaming the boredom on the environment. Wherever I may be and whoever is there, it is up to me to change my perspective – or leave. Sometimes I only get glimpses of this insight. It is not where I am but about letting go of boundaries and rules I have created for myself in my every day contexts.
Can I let go of expectations and a concern with what everyone else is doing?
Can I open myself to the unexpected and make room for good to come into my life without rushing to grasp for it?
Right now I sit here writing in a state of awareness and boundlessness. It is 4.03 pm but I am no longer concerned with time, it is just a figure. I am no longer concerned with where I have to be in a couple hours or where I have been this morning. I am not really moving anywhere, just being, expanding somehow. Earlier today I chose to tune into the chaos and the movement of my surrounding environment. I was distracted by the turbulence of conversations, voices and feelings. I was looking for answers outside of me and my intuition faded out like at the end of a song. I forgot my raincoat and was soaked up by my thoughts. I know, but sometimes forget, that it is only present moment energy which leads to solutions and discovery of inner knowledge of what I want to attract in my every day life. Shifting my attention to this writing has helped guide me back to presence.
Can I free my mind to write, think and speak without listening to the nagging ego?
Is what I am looking for out there actually within me?
When I started writing this I was thinking about the idea of time and how my mind’s been floating in the future all day. I was thinking about the next meeting with my friend, whether I am going to go to a yoga class or not or whether I want to go to the poetry slam this evening. How futile it seems now, thinking about it from a different space. It doesn’t really matter whether I go to this or whether I go to that. Whatever I choose to give my attention to I cannot change the fact that in reality, I am always in the present moment. This is where expansiveness exists, where things grow and unfold. In this space ideas and solutions of quality arise and desires I have previously clung on to might suddenly surprise me in the form of an unexpected idea, feeling or event. If only for a moment, nothing needs to be fixed and I am unclouded, undefined and unconcerned by uncertainty.